Shut Up and Kiss Me
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Rossi is left holding the baby after a disastrous date goes awry for JJ...THREESHOT
1. Chapter 1

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out.**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**Shut Up and Kiss Me**

**Chapter One**

David Rossi was not altruistic by nature. For the most part, everything he did had a motivation, whether it was obvious to the people around him or not. Sometimes it was pure selfishness that guided his ulterior motive. Sometimes not.

But rarely did he second guess his choices.

Until tonight.

Tonight the mercurial fates had deigned to place his continued existence in jeopardy. And he had only himself to blame.

Damn those freaking fates.

Shooting a rueful glance at Henry Jareau, happily clueless to the upcoming storm that was his mother headed in their direction, Rossi grimaced as he shook his head. "This really was an accident, kid."

Watching as the adorably fat baby pounded his pudgy hands against his high chair table, Cheerios flying everywhere and his intoxicating baby giggles erupting from a smiling mouth, David Rossi realized that if he couldn't convince a nine month old that his actions had been honorable, the hope that he could convince the child's mother of the same truth had rapidly deteriorated.

He was screwed.

Royally.

"Go ahead, laugh now, kid...but when your mama is filling me with lead, just remember, I woulda bought you that pony everybody else keeps promising," Dave sighed, grabbing the washcloth of the kitchen table and gently wiping the baby's drooling mouth. "The rest of 'em were all talk. But not your Uncle Dave. Remember that."

"Ma, ma, ma, ma," Henry jabbered, kicking his legs in the chair as he reached for his bottle, his chubby hands wrapping greedily around the treat.

"Yeah, yeah, mama is going to kill me," Dave nodded morosely, unable to believe that he was now confiding his troubles to an infant. "My intentions were good, though, Henry. I didn't know the date would be THAT bad," he muttered as he shuddered, remembering JJ's phone call of just a half hour ago. "I only told Eddy to make her wish it was ME she was out with...not to turn her off men for life."

"Uh oh," Henry sing-songed, dropping his bottle on the floor, leaning over the side of the high chair as he tried to reach for it.

Bending to retrieve the discarded bottle, Dave groaned. "Uh oh is an understatement, monkey," he muttered, deftly handing Henry one of his teething biscuits. Leaning back in his chair as he watched the male version of Jennifer Jareau avidly gumming away on his treat, Dave said defensively, "I DID have a plan, champ. And, in my defense, it seemed foolproof at the time."

Lifting his head, Henry eyed Dave curiously before blowing a cookie filled raspberry at his caretaker.

Wiping the little boy's face once again, Dave stared at his charge with wide eyes. "Well, one thing is certain. You ARE your mother's son."

The baby's answering laugh pulled a smile to his lips. His intentions had been good. Son of a bitch, if he'd known Eddy intended to leave Jennifer stranded at the expensive restaurant he'd taken her to and stiffed her with the check, he'd have definitely put the kibosh on the date. Hell, when he'd told Eddy to make her wish for a good man, he'd meant for him to chew with his mouth open or something...not this.

Especially not when she could very rightly point an accusing finger in HIS direction.

Shooting a suspicious look over his shoulder toward the kitchen window, Dave heard the familiar sound of JJ's car barreling up the gravel driveway. Grimacing as he heard a viciously slamming car door heralding the imminent arrival of one severely pissed of woman, Dave quickly unlatched Henry's safety harness, releasing him from the high chair and lifting him high in his arms. "Ever been used as a human shield, monkey? No? You're about to get your chance," Dave cooed gently, turning the baby and holding him against his chest as his back door cracked against the wall.

"YOU!" JJ hissed, eyes narrowing as she slammed the door closed behind her.

"Jen, I can explain..." Dave said, tightening his arms around the young charge in his arms.

"You set me up with that whack job!" JJ accused, her voice lethally soft as she took another step into the room. "Nice guy with a job, my hind end," JJ bit out, guarding here words for Henry's sake.

"Well," Dave reasoned rapidly, shrugging, "He was always nice to me. And he does have a job. I pay part of his salary at that fancy PR firm he works at. You should have had a lot in common," he continued, backing up carefully as she advanced toward them.

"Put my baby down, Rossi, and face me like a man," JJ demanded calmly, her eyes sparkling even as she smiled sweetly at her son.

"Are you kidding?" Dave yelped, tightening his grip on her son, who was smiling widely at his mother. "You're armed, woman," he said, nodding at her gun in its holster riding along her hip. "And you wouldn't assault a man holding a baby, now would you?" he said, bouncing Henry lightly against his chest and earning a giggle in the process.

"You do realize I'm a sharpshooter, right?" JJ snapped, narrowing her eyes as she glared at her newest tormenter. "I could have a bullet in your head and catch the baby before your sorry carcass hit the ground."

Sadly for him, he knew every word she said to be true. Unarmed, he might have had a fighting chance. Not so much in this circumstance. "Now, babe..."

"No!" JJ shook her head rapidly, blonde hair sliding over her shoulder. "No babe. No honey. No sweetheart, no darling, no cara mia and no Bella! No endearments of any kind, you two faced son of a bi..."

"Baby!" Dave said, hoisting a now laughing Henry in front of his face and swinging him from side to side. "We have a baby in the room! Watch your words, hon-, I mean, JJ."

"Oh, I'd like to watch something, all right," JJ ground out, stomping her heel shod foot on the tile floor. "What in the name of God possessed you to set me up with that Neanderthal? Since when do you hate me?"

"I don't," Dave yelped, lowering the baby slightly to level an aggrieved look in her direction. "It was a simple misunderstanding, Jen. I thought you two would hit it off...maybe not romantically, but..."

"Maybe?" JJ barely resisted shrieking, guarding her tone at the last second. "He left me sitting alone at a table with a $150 check, Rossi! Plus the tip!"

"For which I will happily reimburse you," Dave offered quickly, sliding the baby onto his hip as Henry's little hands attacked his face, his fingers entwining painfully with Dave's facial hair. "Owww!" Dave whimpered, covering Henry's hand with his as he attempted to declaw his face.

"Good boy, Henry!" JJ cooed, clapping loudly. "Get the big bad man for mama!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out. ONLY SIX DAYS LEFT TO SIGN UP!**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day.**_

* * *

**Shut Up and Kiss Me**

**Chapter Two**

"Yeah," Dave said with a smirk down at the boy that had wrapped himself around his heart, "like I'd ever be dumb enough to truly test your mama."

"What the heck do you call the last three hours of my life, if not a test, David?" JJ choked, her eyes softening as Henry buried his face against Dave's throat, his little nose rooting around in a search for comfort.

"An exercise in diplomacy?" Dave offered weakly as he automatically tightened his arms around the baby. Seeing her look of incredulous disbelief, Dave whispered, "Is it safe to put down the munchkin yet? He wants his playpen," he said, nodding down to the sleepy little boy he held.

"He's entirely safe," JJ declared magnanimously. "You, on the other hand..."

"I'll risk it," Dave muttered, brushing a kiss to the baby's downy head as he lead the way toward the family room, gently depositing Henry on his back on the mat and pulling a soft throw off the couch to drape over him. "He ate good tonight," Dave said softly, watching as JJ leaned over to adjust the blanket and drop a kiss on the baby's head.

"Full stomachs make sleepy babies," JJ whispered, pinching Dave's arm as she straightened.

"Ouch," Dave mumbled, rubbing his arm where her talons had buried. Damn, for such a small woman, she had the grip of a linebacker.

"You owe me a very large drink for this travesty of a date," JJ warned softly, glancing over her shoulder one last time to check on her son. "And we're talking the good stuff here, Rossi...not that cheap crap you hand out to your regular flavors of the week."

"First, there haven't been any flavors of the week in almost two years and you know it," Dave retorted, guiding her back into the kitchen. "And second, my stuff is never cheap."

"Whatever," JJ snorted, rolling her eyes as she pulled out a kitchen chair, careful to not scrape the tiled floor. "I want that stuff at the back of the liquor cabinet," she said, gesturing toward his wine rack.

"You really have had a hell of a night then." Dave grinned, reaching for two glasses and the bottle of wine she'd requested. "You know, if I open this," he said, holding the dusty bottle aloft, "I expect you to help me kill the bottle. That means a sleepover."

"Go bag is in the car and Henry already has stuff here," JJ agreed as she shrugged. "Hit me," she said, raising her glass.

**/***/**

Two hours and almost a bottle of wine later, JJ sat smiling as she fingered her wine glass. Her grin widened as she watched Dave walk back into the room, shaking his dark head.

Depositing Henry's diaper in the trash can, Dave laughed, "Little guy is out. He didn't even stir when I changed his diaper...just kinda opened one eye to glare at me then went back out."

"Sounds like my son," JJ agreed as she nodded. Eyeing the older man as he sat back down beside her, JJ sighed. "How often have we done this?" JJ asked, sipping her wine.

"Done what?" Dave asked easily, stretching his back as he reached for his own wine glass.

"Spent the night here? Played cards here?" JJ asked, nodding at the discarded deck. "Anymore, it seems like we're here as much as we're at home. Don't you ever get tired of Henry and me cramping your style?"

"What style?" Dave snorted, frowning as shrugged. "I like my life. I like the people I have in my life. I'm not looking to branch out, babe."

"Then why," JJ drawled, dropping her glass back on the table with a soft clink, "did you insist that I needed to broaden my horizons with this date...if you're as content with our company as you say you are, that is," she said, leveling him with a penetrating stare.

"You need to see what's available out there," Dave shrugged, his spine tensing slightly.

"Yeah," JJ muttered, "because that worked out sooo well for me the last time."

Staring at her over the rim of his glass, Dave replied evenly, "Not even I'll try and deny that you got screwed with Will, Jen. He was a shi-"

JJ wagged a finger at him. "Words, words."

"He was a jerk," Dave stated flatly, glaring at her. "You can do better."

"And this guy tonight was your version of better?" JJ cackled, tears of mirth gathering in her eyes. Wow...Dave really had been out of the game for too long if he thought the man he'd set her up with this evening qualified as a step up. She was beginning to wonder if he truly was the player she had always thought he was.

"Well..." Dave flushed guiltily.

"What?" JJ asked suspiciously, recognizing the telltale signs of remorseful Rossi. "What's with the shamefaced look, David?"

"I might have had some less than philanthropic ambitions tonight, Jen," Dave said ruefully, wincing as he watched those blue eyes darken.

"Explain, Dave," JJ demanded tersely, holding out her glass, "And fill 'er up while you're at it. I think I'm going to need to be desensitized for this."

Draining the bottle into her goblet, Dave briefly debated popping another cork, but decided against it. For the admission he needed to make, she needed to be sober. God knew, he didn't want to do it twice. Once was going to be difficult enough.

"Dave?"

"I might have known that your engagement this evening wasn't exactly going to be a successful endeavor, Jen," Dave admitted quietly, watching her face. Damn, she was beautiful, he thought idly.

Cocking her head, JJ took another sip of the sweet wine, allowing it to soothe her. "Why would you say that?"

"Because, I might have told Eddy to be a bit crass...a bit..."

"Cheap?" JJ asked pointedly, tilting her glass in his direction.

"I don't think I used that word...but, Eddy always was an overachiever," Dave offered feebly.

Breathing deeply, JJ stared at Dave with a brutal intensity. "Okay, Rossi. Before I explode, tell me why. Why would you deliberately set out to sabotage a blind date that you set up? What kind of messed up logic is that?"

Sighing heavily as he weighed his response carefully, Dave shook his head. If he was less than honest then he violated everything their relationship so far had been. And if he was honest, he risked losing her altogether. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't, he thought grimly. But, as he looked into her inquisitive eyes, he knew he owed it to them both to try.

"I wanted you to compare him to me, Jen. And, I wanted you to know I was the better choice," Dave told her truthfully, the words flowing easier than he had first expected.

Squinting as she choked on her wine, JJ asked, "What?"

"You heard me the first time," Dave muttered under his breath. Maybe he did have to eat crow, but nobody said he had to like doing it.

"Wait a sec...you set me up to go out on a blind date that you had already rigged to be a bust?" JJ asked, her eyes wide with disbelief. "What kind of diabolical mind does something so...so..."

"Desperate?" Dave supplied helpfully, draining the last of his wine from the glass. "That would be me, Jen."

Shaking her head, disgust and hope warred in her heart. A part of her wanted to wrap her hands around his solid throat and throttle him within an inch of his life for inflicting that barbarian on her this evening. But another part, a bigger part of her, was unexpectedly filled with a growing ray of hope. Why would he have taken such drastic measures to ensure failure if he didn't want her for himself? And had the great legend known as David freaking Rossi just referred to himself as desperate? For her? Well, Jareau, she told herself with a nod in her mind, there's no time like the present to find out exactly what the score actually is.

"I think perhaps now would be an excellent time to clarify your feelings about us, Dave," JJ suggested decisively, settling back in her chair as she waited, not so patiently, for his explanation.

Looking at her determined face staring back at her, Dave's heart beat a little faster at her order. Well, this is what he'd wanted, wasn't it? A chance to tell her how much she and the baby in the next room meant to him...an opportunity to make his intentions clear. How the hell could he be at a loss for words now?

Clearing his throat as he attempted to determine his next words, Dave slowly licked his lips. "Jen, I've never shared well..."

"Could have fooled me," JJ grunted, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at him. "You seemed to have no problem at all sharing me with that asshole tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

_**NEW**__** Author's Note: Hi, guys! We've got a few notes for you today. First up, our new challenge "The Colors of the Rainbow" Prompt Challenge is now AVAILABLE for sign-up on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. It looks like it's going to shape up into a fun challenge. Check it out. ONLY FIVE DAYS LEFT TO SIGN UP! We'd love to see everyone there! The more the merrier!**_

_**Tonnie and I are diligently working toward our nomination ballot on the second annual "Profilers Choice Awards" hosted by Chit Chat on Author's corner forum. Our tentative date to release the categories, informational post and NOMINATION BALLOT is 8/28/11. One week, guys. So, put on your reading hat and look for those stories and authors you adore. Any of our fellow authors, please feel free to promote the awards as well. The more the merrier and we can use all the help we can get!**_

_**Additionally, we'll have some new posts going up at the forum this week. So, skip over and take a look.**_

_**Also, we're continuing to have oodles of fun with our fellow authors and readers over on facebook. I'm getting to know a lot of wonderful people over there and we've got quite the support system going. Feel free to come join the fun. Simply "friend" Ilovetvalot Fanfiction. I'll be sure to accept.**_

_**Also, we love hearing from you. So, drop a review if you have the time. They truly make our day!**_

* * *

**Shut Up and Kiss Me**

**Chapter Three**

"There was a plan," Dave hedged uncomfortably, once again regretting every single decision he had ever made concerning this entire situation. "I didn't realize how well it would work...but, I never meant for it to be quite that bad." Seeing her merely raise an eyebrow in response, Dave shifted in his seat. Until this moment, he had never realized exactly how much JJ had in common with Sister Bertha Clarence, his high school English teacher. Both of them had the ability to render him speechless with just a single glare. "As I was saying, I don't share well...and when I heard Emily mention something about getting you back in the dating game last week, I panicked. And that got me to thinking that if I could control the circumstances of your foray back into the dating world, I might have a chance of keeping you."

A pale hand waved in the air suddenly. "Wait a minute. You were manipulating me?" JJ asked, aghast.

"I was manipulating the situation," Dave quickly corrected, shaking his head. "Not you."

"Semantics," JJ snorted, pursing her lips.

"Did I not just say thirty seconds ago that I was desperate?" Dave asked, exasperation filling his voice. "Look, honey, when I guy feels everything he's waited for...everything he's ever wanted slipping out of his grasp, he'll do anything he has to, no matter how insane, to try to keep it," he tried to explain, well aware that his words might be falling on deaf ears. But he had to try, didn't he?

"You were trying to keep me? When was I missing?" JJ asked, shaking her head, growing more confused with each passing sentence.

"You weren't," Dave replied, pausing. "Yet."

"And doing all this," JJ said, sweeping her arm out, "seemed easier than just telling me how you felt?"

"Did I mention the desperate part?" Dave grumbled, staring morosely at the salt shaker in the center of the table.

Lips twitching, JJ quickly schooled her face into a neutral mask. "Dave?"

"Yeah," Dave mumbled, keeping his eyes away from hers, afraid of what he might see.

"You still haven't told me how you feel about me," JJ pointed out evenly, not at all adverse to forcing the man to admit everything at this point. She wasn't going to risk her future and her son's happiness for anything less than the full truth.

"Do you seriously need to ask that question, Jennifer?" Dave remarked deeply, finally turning his intense gaze to hers.

"I think you seriously need to answer that question before I say anything else," JJ answered quietly, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table, never once taking her eyes off of him.

Jesus, was she trying to rip his dignity from him, he asked himself. Hell, bearing his soul had never been something that he'd excelled at. But that's what she was asking him to do. Anything less than full disclosure wasn't going to cut it. Not anymore.

"Do I really need to say that I'm in love with you, JJ?" Dave asked gruffly.

"You do if you want me to know it," JJ replied softly, warmth growing in her chest as she met his eyes. Oh sweet Lord, she thought to herself, a sense of shock starting to overtake her. This was far more than she had ever hoped for…and she wasn't about to lose it now.

Do or die, Rossi. It was time to sink or swim...and damn he really wanted to stay afloat. "I love you," Dave said softly. "I love you and I love Henry like he was mine. And the idea of not having either one of you in my life does things like make me want to send you out on horrible blind dates just so you'll be happy to come home to me."

"You didn't need to send me anywhere to make me happy to come back home to you," JJ denied gently. "And I'm not interested in seeing, let alone dating, anybody else. I went on the stupid date because you sided with Emily and pushed me into it...not because I wanted to go. Why would I want to go anywhere when I love you?" she said simply, finally allowing herself to release the thoughts that she had held captive for so long.

"What did you say?" Dave breathed, his ears catching her last statement. Hell, she'd said it as simply as asking him to pass the salt...like it was a statement of fact that she assumed he knew instead of a startling revelation that had rocked his world.

Smiling gently, JJ leaned forward in her chair, coming nose to nose with the handsome man that had consumed her every dream for months. "I said, I love you. Do we need to look into a hearing aid for you? You seem to have a little trouble comprehending the simplest ideas lately," she teased.

"Trouble comprehending...SIMPLE IDEAS!" Dave echoed incredulously. "How the hell was I supposed to know that you loved me? You never said anything," he accused, his voice growing louder with each passing word.

"Don't play the victim, Rossi," JJ admonished lightly, grabbing their glasses and rising to move smoothly across his kitchen to the dishwasher, popping them inside. "It really doesn't suit you. It's not as though you were walking around making proclamations either."

Rising, Dave stalked toward where she stood, leaning against the dishwasher. "I don't believe you," he muttered, overwhelmed.

"Hey, don't blame me for your obstinate nature. We could have had this discussion months ago if you'd said something," JJ smiled, her eyes dancing. "Now, is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Stopping in front of her, Dave returned her smile. "You mean other than the fact that you're about ten seconds away from being stripped naked in my kitchen and we're about to find an alternate use for the stove? Can't think of a thing."

"Then may I make a suggestion, Agent Rossi," JJ asked happily, draping her arms around his shoulders as his arms slipped around her waist, pulling her flush against him.

"Anything," Dave replied, too pleased to deny her anything.

"Shut up and kiss me," JJ whispered, tugging his face to hers.

And he did. Repeatedly. For the rest of his life.

**Finis**


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